Is Cheating a Rational Choice?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-anderson-phd/cheating_b_1528890.html
There is quite a bit of absolutism in the article that I object to. I don’t think that _all_ and _everyone_ and other such absolute terms are very good science. Human nature is so variable that I immediately become suspicion of anyone, most particularly in the soft-sciences, who makes such dramatic statements. Having said that, based on my personal experience and discussions with friends, I believe that a large percentage of what the author discusses is right on the mark (though if I were doing the writing, I would slide in a whole lot of caveats (but then again, this isn’t peer reviewed and is targeted toward the ‘popular’ press)). Men, as a group, have wandering eyes (I discuss some of that in a writeup you can read here if you are interested), women, as a group, want a stable provider. Men who were most successful over geological time (slight exaggeration for effect) spread their seed further and wider than those who kept with monogamy. Conversely, those women who dallied with a man perhaps unsuited as a provider, but provided better genes, likely were overrepresented compared to their monogamous counterparts. As such, it is very plausible to me that the ‘cheating’ gene would be well established in our species (fairly recently (now that DNA sequencing has got less expensive) scientists have found that nearly all the ‘monogamous’ bird species actually fool around as much as humans do). Thus, it would seem that the author’s premise that our culture is actually fostering divorce by denying us our biology is also quite plausible. Personally I have a low sex drive (for a guy) and as such I am not as constantly nagged by desires as the average dewd. I do, however, look around (my wife seems to have grown to tolerate that, though I am sure she would rather I didn’t) and am a regular user of ‘net porn (pretty much my only vice other than cigars) so other women focus in my fantasies (I am sure I am going to catch hell for this post ;-)). I can still imagine, though, that if we had a more permissive society (and my wife bought into such) that I might easily move beyond fantasies. I doubt I am alone and given my relative lack of sex drive I imagine that the average fellow is way more likely to act on it.
Of course, cheating men would have no way to cheat if it weren’t also for cheating women. If there were no recipient for their attentions, I am sure that men would not have evolved the wandering eye, so it goes both ways. The reports I have read indicate that surveys report about equal cheating, men and women (about half each). Our society seems to have reduced somewhat the stigma of cheating, but only slightly, yet based on the research I have read there hasn’t been much of a change in long-term behavior by cheaters, so it might be that more permissiveness wouldn’t result in more cheating, just less divorces. Of course, I don’t expect our society to change, we can’t even legalize drugs and go bonkers regarding same-sex marriage. Still, it wasn’t that long ago that interracial marriage was illegal in a lot of places, so perhaps another generation and things will loosen up. I doubt that will change my behavior, though, my wife gets rather steely-eyed whenever I sidle up to the subject (as I am sure she will get when she reads this post).
